Two thousand years ago, social media had a very different look. Instead of sharing pictures of your food, or liking someone’s vacation pictures, or even posting the latest “you’ll never guess…” article, social media took the form of epistles. Rather than impulsively sharing and responding in micro-seconds, it sometimes took months to receive, respond, and deliver a message. Though the medium and the time constraints have changed drastically, the desire to share in one another’s lives has not. This desire is also known as “brotherly love.”

Brotherly love, from the Greek word philadelphia, is unique among the three other words for love in Greek. Each of the four main words describes an interesting nuance of love. Agape is a “rational love” where your love for another is a conscious decision, in direct contrast to storge love, which can be understood as an irrational love akin to a mother’s unlimited love for a child, regardless of circumstance. In 1 Thessalonians 41 8, eros (or romantic) love is alluded to, though unnamed, and its temporary nature contrasts with phileo (or brotherly) love. Phileo love is unique because it is an “experiential love” born from everyday experiences like a shared childhood (i.e., siblings), shared trauma, or long-term professional or romantic relationships.

Social media attempts to create an environment of “shared experiences” by sharing our experiences. Unfortunately, it fails and often destroys the opportunity for the development of true brotherly love. Social media is but a tool that can be wielded for good or ill, but some tools are better (by design and intent) for planting, while others thrive at killing. This begs the question: How can we know if social media is damaging our capacity for brotherly love?

Paul writes to the church in Thessalonica, “Concerning brotherly love… we urge you, brethren, that you increase more and more; that you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you, that you may walk properly toward those who are outside, and that you lack in nothing.” (1 Thess 4:9, 10b-12)

Here are four keys to knowing whether social media is damaging your capacity for brotherly love:

1) Does it discourage you from leading a quiet life?

2) Does it discourage you from minding your own business?

3) Does it discourage you from working with your own hands?

4) Does it encourage you to walk improperly toward non-Christians?